wake me up
Posted by Rebekah , Saturday, February 21, 2009 11:22 PM
"Pull me in, don't let me drown.
This will not be easy, you'll have to hold me down.
Tie me up, don't let me run
Because another day without you is another lifeless one."
~'Wake' by Brightwood
I heard this band tonight, and this line slapped me across the face. Especially the "This will not be easy, you'll have to hold me down" part.
How many times has God had to basically hold me down to get the medicine down my throat. How many times has He endured my struggling and flailing, and waited out my tantrums.
How many more times will He have to?
Maybe that's just what he's doing now.
Maybe He's holding me down and waiting for me to stop kicking and screaming so that He can administer my treatment.
So maybe I'm not stuck here after all, I'm just... not ready.
But I feel SO ready.
I have for some time now, well.... maybe ready.
Like if He shoved me out there, I'm pretty sure I could keep afloat.
But maybe I'm totally wrong, and if He put me out there, I'd be the next Titanic.
Maiden voyage, and I'd end up at the bottom of the ocean, just a home for crabs.
I need to hear from Him.
You hear me?
I need to hear from you. Like now would be good for me.
Maybe I'm not even ready for Him to speak to me...
Maybe I need to shut up.
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